“Thursday, October 24
I wake up and make myself a horrible cup of coffee. I am really bad at making coffee and I could never figure out why, so now I just add a ton of condensed milk. After my coffee, I head to 1-900-BLEACH-ME with my dog, Corn, to get my hair dyed by my friend, the owner of the salon, Chansophalla Nop. My friend John deBary is also there getting his hair done. I ask him to get me a seltzer because I’m under the heat lamp, hoping he’ll bring me a black-cherry Hal’s. Instead, being a fancy-food person, he gets me a 24-ounce bottle of San Pellegrino. The fancier sparkling waters are softer with their bubbles. I prefer industrial-strength seltzer.”